It’s late & I just got back from a long trip, but I need to get something off my chest.
Earlier tonight, a friend posted a facebook poll called “Acceptance of a Child”. It asks the question,
“If your child came to you and told you they were gay, would you accept and support them?”
I posted my response to my friend’s poll result (like a good PC liberal, she said “Yes!”) …
It is frustrating that they ask if I would both accept my child AND support their decision. Yes, I would accept my child – they are, after all, my child, and I have unconditional love for them as a human being. because I love them, however, i could NOT support their choice to be an acting homosexual, whether that support means marching along side them in a “pride parade” or giving them ten bucks for “Gay Bingo”. I would not attend their gay wedding if they chose to have one, nor would I vote against my conscience in any political trial of my child and like-minded individuals seeking unusual or extra protections of benefits at the cost of others.
It sounds bigoted or “homophobic” to state this, but it is true! Were “gayness” considered to be a disease like alcoholism, that wouldn’t be the case. Imagine someone asking you, “if you discovered your child was an alcoholic, would you accept and support them?” Could you say “yes, they’re my kid, so I’d accept them … and sure, I’d support them! I’ll buy them a beer and give them a ride to the nearest bar whenever they ask!”??? Didn’t think so.
I believe that homosexuality is a predisposition for succumbing to deviant behavior, not a genetic certainty. I don’t believe that people can be “gay” – only that they can choose to have gay behavior. In this sense, yes, I think it is a choice – but I also think that in some cases that choice is a little harder to fight than others, just like the choice to drink, to gamble, to be promiscuous, or to steal. Certainly many will disagree with me … particularly those who choose to indulge in such behavior and want a “scientific” excuse (“I was born that way”). The thing is, the science has NOT proven that people are born gay, it simply suggests that there are some physiological traits that parallel the behavior. Those traits could be caused by the behavior just as easily as they could cause the behavior, or (more likely) my view is correct: they are simply indicators that one has a weak spot for that sort of thing.
Besides, if homosexuality is “genetic”, then all i need to do is swap out my alcoholic example with a genetic disorder … let’s say obesity.
If my kid was dangerously obese, would I still accept him? yes. If my kid was dangerously obese, would I support him in his obesity? Absolutely not! I love my children and don’t want them to die.
As parents, loving our kids doesn’t always mean supporting them in behavior we feel or know is wrong or dangerous to them. More and more, we are faced with the added pressure of society telling us we are “wrong” because we don’t agree that evil should be good (and good evil). I have a lot of friends who consider themselves “gay”, and despite not agreeing with their lifestyle, we’re still friends. Why? Because I go by that old saying, “hate the sin, love the sinner”. It never says, “if you love the sinner you will support the sin”, right? Using my example of alcoholism, it clearly isn’t right to hate and despise an alcoholic; instead we love them and urge them to seek treatment. We might even block their attempts to access alcohol. We certainly don’t support their sin (it’s called “enabling” in the pop-psychology industry), but that doesn’t stop us from loving them.
As parents, we love our children unconditionally – that means no matter how much they mess up, anger us, or hurt us, we still want to protect them and hold them and spare them agonies. As a Christian parent, my moral knowledge is that no matter how many cute television shows, pop songs and political adverts make homosexuality shine and dance, the lifestyle is spiritually and emotionally crippling, and not at all what those who sell it make it out to be.
Is it morally right for me to “force my beliefs” on my children? Of course it is! That’s why society has ages for things, like 16 and 18 and 21! When that child is an adult, they are free to do what they want and be who they choose, and as a parent, I can only hope they choose the path that is physically and spiritually safest for them. Until then, I have the right to raise them according to my beliefs, and that means no sex-ed in school, that they will have a sense of community citizenship, and they will learn to pray and study the scriptures and know right from wrong.