I just saw a comment on a news site where someone was getting snippy about another commenter calling homosexuality a “lifestyle”.
“All gay people, and I’m sure even this kid, want is the same thing everyone wants: To grow up, get through school, get a good job, meet someone and spend the rest of our lives together. That’s hardly a “lifestyle” to be ashamed of. The only problem is people like you who call it a “lifestyle” that not even the Catholic Church thinks that being gay is a choice.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”
I don’t disagree with his point that gays want “the same thing everybody wants”, but I strongly disagree with his claim that homosexuality isn’t a lifestyle.
I have several friends who indulge in homosexuality. When I say “several friends”, I mean probably over 1/3 of my closest associates claim affiliation with homosexuality. They are gay men, lesbian women, and a couple who practice “bisexuality”. The high percentage of my friends who live that lifestyle is due, in part, to my years in the entertainment industry.
Why are so many gay people in the entertainment industry? Why do so many gay men talk with a lisp and a flamboyant whine? Why are so many into interior design, fashion and hairstyling? How come they all know entire repertoires of disco diva material and all the words to every Broadway musical ever made? Why do gay women ride motorcycles? Why are so many of them fat?
A few of my friends “turned gay” after I knew them. They’d never say that – it’s against the gay code to admit you turned against the opposite sex after your ex-wife cheated on you or you got tired of all the boys in school making fun of how fat you are. It’s true though. ALL my friends who were once straight and are now flamers used to date girls, play sports, and do all the other boy stuff. ALL my female friends who now claim to be lesbians were fat and got made fun of or they were raped or abused by some idiot and they (rightfully so) don’t trust men anymore. ALL my friends who claim to be “bisexual” are either fat girls-gone-dyke-but-still-hoping-for-a-guy or they all proclaimed this new label in unison when it became fashionable twelve years ago (or during the resurgence 5 years ago).
Transsexuals, who are not technically “gay”, had an advantage when claiming they “always felt this way”. In the beginning, surgeons and endocrinologists were less likely to aid someone in permanently breaking and disfiguring their body who said “I just decided last month this is something I really want to do.” To avoid the inevitable lawsuits, they created criteria designed to slow the pace of such life-changing decisions. Even then, few agreed to assist those TS in reaching their goal unless they made the claim that they’d “felt this way since birth”. Accordingly, TS began to adopt the “ever since I was three” story, which spawned numerous psychologists to come up with theories about the age at which our gender is “set”, and that it was environmental rather than biological (later disproven, as readers of “As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised As a Girl” are aware). More recently psychologists began pushing for a new term, “autogynephilia” to describe those TS who were preoccupied with surgery and hormones as a fetish, and though the diagnosis is still controversial, more and more TS are identifying with that and being accepted by the doctors who formerly shunned them. I believe this is because scores of people were not “born that way” or “felt this way since childhood”, but instead had a fetishistic preoccupation with those forms of sexual mutilation and body modification.
“Traditional” gays and lesbians didn’t normally claim they felt this way since birth. For years there was no reason to – it gained nothing. Most (if they admitted their slant) acknowledged an “experimentation” period in their life or could point to the pivotal moment in their decision to indulge in homosexual behavior. Among my associates there was only one male who displayed that inclination from an early age, but he never mentioned “always feeling that way”, and I’d wondered if his effeminate mannerisms cornered him into accepting that lifestyle.
While it is debatable whether there is actually a “gay gene”, all persons are born with the abilities to overcome any difficulties and temptations they might have in their lives. From a religious point of view, the act of homosexuality is a sin. This would lead me to believe that it is possible that some are born with more of a temptation toward this kind of activity, but that none is born with the inescapable and uncontrollable urge to participate in those sorts of activities (just as none is born with the uncontrollable urge to kill, steal, or drink alcohol).
I believe that homosexuality is a predisposition to an unnatural sexual activity and that it gains acceptance through its culture, aka “lifestyle”.
In response to the gentleman’s comments against calling it a “lifestyle”, I want to point to one of the most glaring examples of “lifestyle” over “natural inclination”. As pointed out to me by a supervisor in 1998 who was a practicing homosexual, people who are following their natural inclinations have no need to prove anything through a parade, film, or publications. Clubs use parades, demonstrations and publications, but biological truths need no such endorsement or “proofs”. He refused to participate in the “pride parades” because he felt it cheapened what he believed was a biological truth for him.
If there wasn’t a gay “lifestyle”, there wouldn’t need to be gay parades, gay bingo, gay disco, gay clothing, gay bumper stickers, gay music festivals, gay lingo, gay books, gay television, etc. If these were all “natural parts of being gay”, then men who decide they are homosexual when they’re 25 wouldn’t suddenly develop a lisp and an affection for show tunes – they would have had it since birth, right?
I’m not “against” people who identify themselves as LGBT. I am, however, against the practice of those inclinations, as they are, have been and will continue to be against God. I peacefully oppose legislation to require this kind of abnormal behavior to be “accepted”. I am also strongly against violence toward people who succumb to those inclinations. For me, the issue of homosexuality is “hate the sin, love the sinner”.